Last January, Bret Michaels dominated VH1's Sunday night lineup with Rock of Love 2. This January, he's on pace to do the same.
This season's debauchery hits the road and follows Bret on tour while he searches for love. Bret welcomes the girls to this whirlwind tour of life on the road with a rock star in Louisville, Ky. ready with a camera in hand. After taking sexy snapshots of his horde of women, Michaels plays the innocent bystander to the messy drunken brawls that this season's vivacious vixens get into every 5 minutes.
The pink and blue colored tour buses for the girls to ride on for the extent of their time on tour cater to every groupie wanna-be's every dream. Guitars, booze, and animal print couture are all amenities these classless broads will be fighting over for the next few months of Sunday night airplay.
From this episode alone, there is no foreseeable winner of the Poison frontman's undying devotion but the girl-on-girl verbal cat fights and attempts at physical abuse are enough for any reality television junkie to savor.
Scenes from the first episode prompt a wealth of trashy entertainment. These girls make Britney Spears' attempt at reality television look like child's play. The pop princess' self-shot "Chaotic" with husband of the moment, Kevin Federline, was the 2005 attempt showcasing the wild antics of the couple during their dating period until their marriage. But even the couple's footage ranging from talks about sex, drugs, and partying seem tame compared to the sheer depravity these girls cook up to win Bret's heart.
Classic moments include witticism from the self-proclaimed "Blonde-terage", DJ Lady Tribe reading a rap she wrote for Brett on sheets of paper labeled "genital herpes" (what makes this girl even funnier is her resemblance to Daisy and Angelique from season 2), and Brazilian firecracker Marcia's post-puke and rally make out with Michaels.
One of the girls said it best, "Rock star or not, these girls are nuts."
If there's anything we can learn from Bret Michaels signing on for a third season of Rock of Love it's that his inflated ego comes close to massive amount of silicon hanging from every girl's chest.
Even Heather and Amber -- winners from the previous seasons -- are clean-cut to the Rock of Love Bus crew. And that's saying a lot considering Heather's in-your-face intensity and Amber's attempt at being a bad girl gone good to impress a washed up 80s glam metal band icon.
So sit back, relax, and enjoy the hot mess that is Rock of Love Bus. It should be quite the ride.