Taya: The Chicago to DC POV's Pick for Rock of Love Bus

The 60 minute weekly showdowns between femme fatales comes to a close this week when Poison frontman Bret Michaels chooses a winner from the final two. Who will be it: Taya or Mindy?

Mishap after mishap and drunken brawl after drunken brawl proves that these girls have what it takes to dig their claws as hard as they can to hold on for dear life, but will that be enough to win the heart of an aging rocker?

The final showdown features Penthouse playmate, Taya, who appears to have maintained her sanity throughout the entire season of Rock of Love Bus. As opposed to her competition and supposed "friend", Mindy, whose southern drawl is cute enough to notch her a victory .... that is until you actually hear the words coming out of her mouth. The girl makes no sense and I'm sure any viewer would agree that their is a definite lack of secondary education on her part. The girl's got no brains.

Before the choice is made, it's essential to look over Micheals' previous choices.

Season 1: Jess = fail
Season 2: Ambre = fail

What do these two girls have in common? Nothing. Jess is a rocker chick whose unmistakable combination of pink and white hair during season one is a enough of a turn on for any full-blooded male searching for a rock goddess. Ambre is the sweet, girl-next-door gone sexy who had the potential to make a good wife for Michael's -- had she actually wanted to stay with him. But she did the smart thing and left.

Here's the dilemma: Mindy or Taya. Mindy would be a season one choice and Taya would be a season two choice. Please for the love of all that's holy Bret Michaels, make up your damn mind! What are you looking for in a woman: a glorified sex object or a life partner? If you want both, Taya's your best bet.

If it's a show the people want, then a show is what they'll get. Rock of Love Season finale episodes tend to be just as dramatic as the women that inhabit the cast, complete with pre-written witticisms dictated by Michaels before, during, and after a pivotal scene.

It's been the ride everyone expected but who will win Rock of Love Bus? Find out tonight at 9 p.m. on VH1.

If At First You Don't Succeed, Try-Try-Try Again: Rock of Love 3 Hits the Road with Bret Michaels

Last January, Bret Michaels dominated VH1's Sunday night lineup with Rock of Love 2. This January, he's on pace to do the same.

This season's debauchery hits the road and follows Bret on tour while he searches for love. Bret welcomes the girls to this whirlwind tour of life on the road with a rock star in Louisville, Ky. ready with a camera in hand. After taking sexy snapshots of his horde of women, Michaels plays the innocent bystander to the messy drunken brawls that this season's vivacious vixens get into every 5 minutes.

The pink and blue colored tour buses for the girls to ride on for the extent of their time on tour cater to every groupie wanna-be's every dream. Guitars, booze, and animal print couture are all amenities these classless broads will be fighting over for the next few months of Sunday night airplay.

From this episode alone, there is no foreseeable winner of the Poison frontman's undying devotion but the girl-on-girl verbal cat fights and attempts at physical abuse are enough for any reality television junkie to savor.

Scenes from the first episode prompt a wealth of trashy entertainment. These girls make Britney Spears' attempt at reality television look like child's play. The pop princess' self-shot "Chaotic" with husband of the moment, Kevin Federline, was the 2005 attempt showcasing the wild antics of the couple during their dating period until their marriage. But even the couple's footage ranging from talks about sex, drugs, and partying seem tame compared to the sheer depravity these girls cook up to win Bret's heart.

Classic moments include witticism from the self-proclaimed "Blonde-terage", DJ Lady Tribe reading a rap she wrote for Brett on sheets of paper labeled "genital herpes" (what makes this girl even funnier is her resemblance to Daisy and Angelique from season 2), and Brazilian firecracker Marcia's post-puke and rally make out with Michaels.

One of the girls said it best, "Rock star or not, these girls are nuts."

If there's anything we can learn from Bret Michaels signing on for a third season of Rock of Love it's that his inflated ego comes close to massive amount of silicon hanging from every girl's chest.

Even Heather and Amber -- winners from the previous seasons -- are clean-cut to the Rock of Love Bus crew. And that's saying a lot considering Heather's in-your-face intensity and Amber's attempt at being a bad girl gone good to impress a washed up 80s glam metal band icon.

So sit back, relax, and enjoy the hot mess that is Rock of Love Bus. It should be quite the ride.

Every Rose Has it's Thorn, But Bret Michaels has "Rock of Love"

Imagine this – 14 rock star groupie wanna-be’s living under one roof. They are all taking lessons in “being a lady” Black Sabbath front man Ozzie’s wife, Sharon Osbourne. This isn’t any one person’s imagination, this is reality. Well … reality television that is.

VH1 debuted their new series “Rock of Love Charm School” last night, which is the third show based on the rock star lifestyle associated with Poison front man Bret Michaels. “Rock of Love” lasted two seasons worth of the some of the most outlandish material seen on a VH1 reality show.

The first episode served as a tribute to the girl’s past lives on-air with Brett, which allowed VH1 to show personalized DVDs highlighting each contestant’s worst moments while on the show. The entire premise is essentially a sorority house situation gone terribly wrong.

The season will play host to what VH1 calls, “The hard-partying gals of Rock of Love 1 and 2 are in major need of a manners lesson, and who better to tutor them in lady skills than metal mama Sharon Osbourne?” But really, what COULD be better than that?

These girls are no rocket scientists. They’re divorcees, ex-strippers, and one even worked for NASA once. But at the end of the day, their offered an open bar that guarantees that this reality show turns into one giant party every week, usually ending in a physical fight or verbal brawl.

To go along with the rock star theme of this specific charm school, the girls not only wear cutesy yet scantily clad infused school girl outfits – a la Brittney Spears’ “…Hit Me Baby One More Time” video – but they must wear their charm school pin at all time and follow the school’s 10 Commandments:

1. Thou Shalt Rock Together
2. Thou Shalt Rock It With Style
3. Thou Shalt Be Takin' Care of Business
4. Thou Shalt Not Rock Rude
5. Thou Shalt Rock Thy Body
6. Thou Shalt Rock At Love
7. Thou Shalt Express Thyself
8. Thou Shalt Know Who Thou Art
9. Thou Shalt Rock Unto Others
10. Thou Shalt Be Fully Rockin'

If someone’s getting paid to do this, sign me up. These girls are being wined, dined, and housed with a camera stuffed in their faces at all times. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of that? And, to top it all off, the girl who changes herself the most and becomes a lady gets a super-sized $100,000 check.

The New York Times’ Virginia Heffernan said it best in her August 27, 2007 review of the show that said, “VH1’s ‘Rock of Love With Bret Michaels” is a carnival sludge: a nauseating paste of fried dough, cigarette ash, salt and grain alcohol.” They even go as far as to say, “This series has trudged along like a heart broken drunk…” But, that’s what the people are watching. There’s even a third season of “Rock of Love” in the works – only this time, it’s on the Bret’s tour bus going on a cross-country adventure to find love.

Production for the third season of “Rock of Love” paused in September after a driver for the show fell asleep behind the wheel, killing Southern Illinois University student Kevetta Davis. Davis was 19.

According to the Chicago Tribune and VH1, Michael’s asked that “his participation in the series be temporarily suspended in deepest sympathy as he attempts to reach out” to the victim’s families.

This season of VH1’s Charm School is destined to provide the reality television watching community with a tasty treat of sass and attempt at class. So, for all you rocker’s out there, if you want a reality television show full of sex, drugs, rock and roll, Sharon Osborne’s shrill English accent, and glammed up groupies fighting each other for your amusement, stay tuned into VH1 each Sunday night at 9 p.m. for “Rock of Love Charm School”.

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