Monday, October 13, 2008

Every Rose Has it's Thorn, But Bret Michaels has "Rock of Love"

Imagine this – 14 rock star groupie wanna-be’s living under one roof. They are all taking lessons in “being a lady” Black Sabbath front man Ozzie’s wife, Sharon Osbourne. This isn’t any one person’s imagination, this is reality. Well … reality television that is.

VH1 debuted their new series “Rock of Love Charm School” last night, which is the third show based on the rock star lifestyle associated with Poison front man Bret Michaels. “Rock of Love” lasted two seasons worth of the some of the most outlandish material seen on a VH1 reality show.

The first episode served as a tribute to the girl’s past lives on-air with Brett, which allowed VH1 to show personalized DVDs highlighting each contestant’s worst moments while on the show. The entire premise is essentially a sorority house situation gone terribly wrong.

The season will play host to what VH1 calls, “The hard-partying gals of Rock of Love 1 and 2 are in major need of a manners lesson, and who better to tutor them in lady skills than metal mama Sharon Osbourne?” But really, what COULD be better than that?

These girls are no rocket scientists. They’re divorcees, ex-strippers, and one even worked for NASA once. But at the end of the day, their offered an open bar that guarantees that this reality show turns into one giant party every week, usually ending in a physical fight or verbal brawl.

To go along with the rock star theme of this specific charm school, the girls not only wear cutesy yet scantily clad infused school girl outfits – a la Brittney Spears’ “…Hit Me Baby One More Time” video – but they must wear their charm school pin at all time and follow the school’s 10 Commandments:

  1. Thou Shalt Rock Together
  2. Thou Shalt Rock It With Style
  3. Thou Shalt Be Takin' Care of Business
  4. Thou Shalt Not Rock Rude
  5. Thou Shalt Rock Thy Body
  6. Thou Shalt Rock At Love
  7. Thou Shalt Express Thyself
  8. Thou Shalt Know Who Thou Art
  9. Thou Shalt Rock Unto Others
  10. Thou Shalt Be Fully Rockin'

If someone’s getting paid to do this, sign me up. These girls are being wined, dined, and housed with a camera stuffed in their faces at all times. Who wouldn’t want to be a part of that? And, to top it all off, the girl who changes herself the most and becomes a lady gets a super-sized $100,000 check.

The New York Times’ Virginia Heffernan said it best in her August 27, 2007 review of the show that said, “VH1’s ‘Rock of Love With Bret Michaels” is a carnival sludge: a nauseating paste of fried dough, cigarette ash, salt and grain alcohol.” They even go as far as to say, “This series has trudged along like a heart broken drunk…” But, that’s what the people are watching. There’s even a third season of “Rock of Love” in the works – only this time, it’s on the Bret’s tour bus going on a cross-country adventure to find love.

Production for the third season of “Rock of Love” paused in September after a driver for the show fell asleep behind the wheel, killing Southern Illinois University student Kevetta Davis. Davis was 19.

According to the Chicago Tribune and VH1, Michael’s asked that “his participation in the series be temporarily suspended in deepest sympathy as he attempts to reach out” to the victim’s families.

This season of VH1’s Charm School is destined to provide the reality television watching community with a tasty treat of sass and attempt at class. So, for all you rocker’s out there, if you want a reality television show full of sex, drugs, rock and roll, Sharon Osborne’s shrill English accent, and glammed up groupies fighting each other for your amusement, stay tuned into VH1 each Sunday night at 9 p.m. for “Rock of Love Charm School”.

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1 comment:

SeB said...

I like the dichotomy of your two posts today. Very nice.

And I can't believe you watch those Rock of Love shows. Lord.....